XXV

opalescent; adjective, [oh-puhlesuh nt]

  1. exhibiting a play of colors like that of the opal
  2. having a milky iridescence

dang, i’m constantly steamrolling through the weeks and forgetting that i have poor memory and that i need to write things down to remember. hence, snapshots:

  • i was talking about this with a friend—the subject of returning home after a semester of college—how there will be a new shift in dynamic between me and my parents (though not necessarily bad, just different), and how, despite all my will not to  change, I have changed, how this is perhaps a product of growing up and I’m experiencing it with a heightened sense of caution
  • side note: i really really miss dakota
  • sometimes i lay in bed with my headphones pressed against my ears, soaking in furious, thumping electronic music, and it’s like catharsis—all i can do is let the blips and beeps wash over me, rapid, overwhelming, restless, mirroring the inner workings of my mind
  • as a musician, i am intensely aware of the whole “meaningless virtuosity” mythos that surrounds Liszt, but… my god, Années de Pèlerinage is strangely absorbing and addicting (Reminiscences de Norma as well—a fascinating work of transcription and pianistic orchestration)
  • i always become giddy with excitement when i see genuinely eager kids in science museums, grubby fingers gesturing with wonder and necks craning to see mammoth skeletons towering overhead. that look of awe in their eyes, that shine and shimmer in their smiles when they see something extraordinary—isn’t it something!
  • well, it’s that time of year again when i cry because of duino elegies and book of images (honestly considering learning german solely for the ability to read the poems in their original language)
  • also that time of year when mixtape-making and letter-writing coincide, when winter break smears with the word relief
  • phrases from a poetry exercise: “in the palm of Buddha’s burnt umber,” “pressing against knuckled mountain ranges,” “a time of pinnacles and worn quiet,” “the center remains of my mind like peace upon a lake”