upstream; adjective, adverb, [uhpstreem]

  1. moving or situated in the opposite direction from that in which a stream or river flows; nearer to the source: [as adverba salmon swimming upstream.
  2. against or opposite to the direction of transcription, translation, or synthesis of a DNA, RNA, or protein molecule.

poetry teaches me how to breathe again. i’ve just finished midterms—deep exhale—and i’m reading some mary oliver. specifically,

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

what else am i doing? listening to lots of nick drake and joni mitchell and charles ives’ weird wonderful “variations on america” for organ. looking forward to lots of practicing during spring break. it’s been ages since i’ve had a proper chance to sit down and feel at peace with a piano. also looking forward to reading king lear! not so much looking forward to an essay due on monday (bleh).

a small plug: i’ve added a poetry tab to this site. it’s nothing special, but i might as well put something out. i don’t even remember half of what i wrote—none of it being particularly good—but the important thing is that i wrote and i wrote with conviction, even if it was foolish or haphazard. i don’t get much of that these days.