the new year

some favorite things experienced in 2017, this god-forsaken year:

  • films: Thelma, Call Me By Your Name, Dunkirk, Tampopo (1987), Still Walking (2009)
  • albums: Melodrama (Lorde), Turn Out the Lights (Julien Baker), async (Ryuichi Sakamoto), Bach’s Goldberg Variations (Beatrice Rana), DAMN. (Kendrick Lamar)
  • books: Autobiography of Red (Anne Carson), To the Lighthouse (Virginia Woolf), Paradise Lost (John Milton), The Cinnamon Peeler: Selected Poems (Michael Ondaatje)

and for 2018:

  • the first day of the week! a full moon! new projects! new places!
  • honestly, this new year feels like a fresh start in so many ways, and i’m very excited.
  • i’ve also been thinking of what it means to remember, and if remembering is any different than taking a past experience and re-experiencing it in the present. there’s an apt quote that my friend showed me, from Wendell Berry’s Hannah Coulter: 

“You think you will never forget any of this, you will remember it always just the way it was. But you can’t remember it the way it was. To know it, you have to be living in the presence of it right as it is happening. It can return only by surprise. Speaking of these things tells you that there are no words for them that are equal to them or that can restore them to your mind. And so you have a life that you are living only now, now and now and now, gone before you can speak of it, and you must be thankful for living day by day, moment by moment, in this presence.

But you have a life too that you remember. It stays with you. You have lived a life in the breath and pulse and living light of the present, and your memories of it, remember now, are of a different life in a different world and time. When you remember the past, you are not remembering it as it was. You are remembering it as it is. It is a vision or a dream, present with you in the present, alive with you in the only time you are alive.”

happy new year, friends. wishing all the best.